Morning Report

Date: 2020-02-24 07:06:01

Hacker News Headlines
  1.  Mathematics for the Adventurous Self-Learner (
  2.  European Commission has told its staff to start using Signal (
  3.  Lightbeam: A Highly-Optimising Streaming WebAssembly Compiler (2019) [video] (
  4.  Capturing ARKit scene into WebRTC video stream for React Native (
  5.  Year Without a Summer (
  6.  Developer Experience: Fundamentally harder than normal UX (
  7.  Iran lawmaker says 50 dead from new virus in city of Qom (
  8.  Jailed Just-in-Time Compilation on iOS (
  9.  Overthinking it and the value of simple solutions (2019) (
 10.  Show HN: Search code in GitHub repos using regular expressions (
 11.  Strings in WebAssembly (
 12.  Cellular Automata in the Browser (
 13.  Ballerina Programing Language (
 14.  Reflections on Software Performance (
 15.  Which of these Amazon Prime purchases are real? (
 16.  Famicom Party: Making NES Games in Assembly (
 17.  Nim Community Survey 2019 Results (
 18.  The Original Sin of Software Metrics (2014) (
 19.  The BBC’s attempt to build a Netflix-style service was snuffed by regulation (
 20.  Hybrid Bank Account (2017) (
 21.  Why does WebAssembly need the relooper algorithm, instead of gotos? (2019) (
 22.  Paper Clay Air Humidifier (
 23.  Prepared statements and their surprising performance implications (
 24.  Guide to running Elasticsearch in production (
 25.  I built a DIY license plate reader with a Raspberry Pi and machine learning
 26.  Holes in Bayesian Statistics (
 27.  Routed Gothic Font (
 28.  Double Slit Experiment and Bayes (2019) (
 29.  The Newton Application Architecture (1994) [pdf] (
 30.  Go-flavored Pascal: A small embeddable self-hosting Pascal compiler for Windows (
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CBC News Headlines
Featured Content
Teck withdraws application for $20B Frontier oilsands mine
Vancouver-based Teck Resources Ltd., has withdrawn its application to build a massive oilsands project in northern Alberta, citing the ongoing debate over climate policy in Canada.
Canada -Calgary |February 24|
CBC Investigates
Why some experts are questioning China's coronavirus claims
China has taken unprecedented steps to stop COVID-19, locking down 60 million people. But questions remain about whether authorities initially concealed the severity and spread of the outbreak.
Health |February 24
Tyendinaga Mohawks defy police warning to clear blockade, remain at Ontario camp
By early Monday, there were still people and vehicles at the protest site near Belleville, Ont. 
Politics |February 24
Nursing home rationed diapers while residents suffered rashes, infections
A scathing complaint filed against top-level staff at an Alberta nursing home alleges administrators locked up diapers to limit their use while incontinent residents sat in urine-soaked pads,
suffering from severe bladder and yeast infections, painful skin rashes and open wounds.
Canada -Edmonton |February 24|
Doug Ford hints at his re-election strategy for 2022
Ontario Premier Doug Ford is offering a glimpse of his strategy for winning a second term in office, more than two years before the next election. 
Canada -Toronto |February 24|
Canadian businesses rush to plug a gap in electric-vehicle charging: Don Pittis
Business |February 24|
Bahamians 'trying to come to grips' with rape allegations against Peter Nygard
World |February 24
Air Canada passenger travelling from Montreal to Vancouver on Valentine's Day tests positive for coronavirus
World |February 23
South Korea taking 'unprecedented' steps as Italy, Iran also struggle to contain COVID-19
World |February 23
The Canadian tech company that changed its mind about using your tax return to sell stuff
Radio -Cost of Living |February 23
These Gospel for Asia donors gave every spare dollar to the global charity, but now say they were misled
February 23
Moscow targets Chinese with raids amid coronavirus fears
World |February 23
'Stop looking for the Messiah': Preston Manning on the future of the Conservative Party
The Weekly |February 23
Leafs' historic loss to former Zamboni driver inspires range of emotional reactions
Sports -Hockey -NHL |February 24|
WHO pledges coronavirus support as African health ministers meet to plan response
World |February 23
In capitalist mecca Las Vegas, social democrat Sanders cements Democratic front-runner status
World |February 23|
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Janet Davison
World |February 23|
Why a top Canadian obesity expert doesn't use BMI
Radio -White Coat - Black Art |February 22
B.C. mother pleads guilty in U.S. college admissions scheme
Canada -British Columbia |February 23|
Veterans Affairs taking a harder line on therapy for families of former soldiers, ombudsman says
Murray Brewster
Politics |February 23|
Expanded rights to medical assistance in dying are pointless without better support for MAID providers
Dr. Andrea Frolic
Opinion |February 23|
Partial rail blockade in support of Wet'suwet'en Hereditary Chiefs erected in Saskatoon
Morgan Modjeski
Canada -Saskatoon |February 23
'We've lost our champions': The fight to save Canadian authors
Jackson Weaver
Entertainment |February 23|
'I loved the game, but the game didn't love me': How hockey shaped one of NHL's first black players on and off the ice
Kamila Hinkson
Canada -Montreal |February 22|
Security company says guard who blocked CBC News camera was 'instructed by the PC party'
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Canada -Toronto |February 23|
After 2 years battling N.L. town, couple sells tiny home without ever living in it
Alex Kennedy
Canada -Nfld. & Labrador |February 23
Counterfeit crackdown; cannabis costs: CBC's Marketplace consumer cheat sheet
Business |February 23|
Indigenous leaders meet at Kahnawake after Trudeau says blockades must come down
February 23
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                                     QDB Admin Random >0 Quotes

 Paypal_Donate Home / Latest / Browse / Random >0 / Top_100-200 / Add_Quote / ModApp / Search / #

#673 +(986)- [X]
<makeworld> ICQ scared the shit outta me
<makeworld> walked into my pitch dark room and hear a knocking noise, sounded
            like someone knocking on my window
<makeworld> shit
#1485 +(289)- [X]
<MrP-> what is wrong with I am almost done reading my 1997-2001 cache CD-
ROM set, if I finish and its not back up, I may perish
#1511 +(465)- [X]
(e-city) why do they rip trance as one huge mp3????
(Graeme) 'cos it's mixed, and the gaps you'd get in winamp would spoil your ecstasy trip
#2325 +(871)- [X]
<Amanda`> We ran out of toilet paper so I had to use coffee filters...
#2412 +(60)- [X]
<|Chris> there's one bitch in the world
<|Chris> one bitch with many different faces
<|Chris> find a new face.
#5543 +(3836)- [X]
<andy> moo spelled backwards is moo
<andy> no wait
#7383 +(259)- [X]
<Pho> the only fun Ive had with linux was formatting it
#8350 +(235)- [X]
<Chubbzilla|UC> AVATARS
<Chubbzilla|UC> OMG NO
<Boko> ok
<Boko> i'll turn them off then
#8427 +(46)- [X]
<Nex> Damn it I feel ill since I told that window cleaner bloke I didnt want to buy any cleaning
<Nex> I bet he was a gypo and now I am cursed
#10837 +(238)- [X]
<Keeper> ooooh, another dead mouse
<Keeper> I think it was a radioactive mouse too, cos as soon as the mousetrap snapped, the TV
reception died for a second
<Deke> keeper has mice?
<Keeper> not anymore :P
#11038 +(413)- [X]
<+darkmind> Report him :x
<+darkmind> Or try to flood him off
#12227 +(702)- [X]
<@RuneCaster> hitting a 9 year old on a crosswalk is probably bad for your driving record though
<@RuneCaster> all I remember was I was on my way to the arcade to play TMNT
<@RuneCaster> and suddenly it was sky ground sky ground sky ground sky ground sky ground pain
#14619 +(230)- [X]
(@Kensey): what's a cack
(@TheNoid): kensey: PENIS
(@Kensey): cool i have a cack
#22748 +(207)- [X]
<cha0s-> Dude, this one time I was playing mortal kombat as Kano... and I did the fatality on my
opponent and I go "ULTRA COMBO FATALITY NIGGER WHAT" and my mom heard me :(
#30507 +(272)- [X]
<Cain> whatever yoy want... but I am not cumin again
<Cain> GDSfsa
<Cain> hj
<Cain> auhjs
<Cain> NO
<Cain> I am so never ever having netmeeting and IRC open at the same time
#31867 +(720)- [X]
<%pain> let's do some al quida jokes. anyone? /:
< baggy>  well has anyone ever noticed that The War Against Terrorism is never abbreviated as TWAT ?
#33570 +(350)- [X]
* Nalixor gives candle the bird.
<candle> a parrot?
* Nalixor gestures rudely at candle.
#33653 +(369)- [X]
<Marecki> Ahh. Sorry. Thought you made "sickening" as in "making you want to puke"
<Dr_Octogon> lol
<noid|drunk> Well, it does make you want to puke.
<noid|drunk> And cry, and laugh.
<noid|drunk> And shit.
<Dr_Octogon> and shit?
<noid|drunk> And shit = and stuff
#36608 +(165)- [X]
<NapkinEater> I hate when I forget what I was going to do in the time it takes me to move my mouse
and click on the IE button.
<Soundwave> same
<NapkinEater> if I was home, I'd just settle for google'ing " nude"
<NapkinEater> work sucks
#36905 +(509)- [X]
* peer stares at CCOutlaw[fagitz]
*** Quits: CCOutlaw[fagitz] ( (Connection reset by peer)
<peer> :D
#40854 +(295)- [X]
<ultr0s> i think in the whole sense of the "information superhighway", my isp ended up driving a yugo
down some dirt road
#46310 +(725)- [X]
<decifer> you should've seen the chicks clawing each other at the beach to get to me when they heard
about my 231day uptime
#49888 +(670)- [X]
<GauHelldragon> haha
<GauHelldragon> we're playing scatergories
<GauHelldragon> and we got "R"
<GauHelldragon> "Fruit", "Infamous people" and "words associated with exersize"
<GauHelldragon> i put down "Richard Simmons" for all 3 :D
#50272 +(95)- [X]
<Fabio> wooo 47.5$/g for international data from feb next year.....
<Riqizeins_Aggilus> w00t
<Fabio> and they are complaining that mp3 and dvd rips cost the movie industry soo much each year,
then they go and do a nice thing like make our downloads cheaper...
<Fabio> i love the way this world works
<Riqizeins_Aggilus> lol
#51915 +(1144)- [X]
<MerryXmouse> My mum and dad were just yelling at each other and I walked up and said "Can you two
stop being wankers?" and my mum hit me on the head and goes "I'll wank you!...... No I won't..."
#77443 +(276)- [X]
samov : Is there a linux program that will end my depression?
boolean : samov: kill
#78514 +(243)- [X]
<tha|didier> the cigarette packages here say that tobacco smoke contains HCN, Benzene, Formaldehyde
en nitrosamines
<Dilbert|sleep> really? the cigarette packs that i get list the ingredients as Lung Cancer, and
#80985 +(94)- [X]
<@scifixi> dear irc,
<@scifixi> you are being boring.
<@scifixi> yours,
<@scifixi> scifixi
#82120 +(571)- [X]
(Elim) bah had to do finals today....finals there like sex, i get done to quick, and i sit there
quiet for an hour thinking about what i did wrong...
#82125 +(31)- [X]
[ Melo-D ] If ur a girl you get to be a bitch once a month
[ @Che ] Just once?
[ @Alison119 ] hmm like we really want that :P
[ @Che ] I think almost all the girls I've met are bitchy all the time =p
#87751 +(772)- [X]
<revmoo> download the cky movies, they are a lot better
<ImpLin> where i get those?
<revmoo> kazza mart
<ImpLin> wheres that?
<Geoff-> at the corner of kazzalite and google
<ImpLin> what town?
<Geoff-> takingthistoofar, USA
#94123 +(160)- [X]
<FHL> oh shit
<FHL> i was just jacking off and my dad was walking on the deck  i hope he didn't look down
through the window :(
<FHL> the bad part was, after i saw him in the corner of my eye on the deck, he came back in and
asked if i wanted kielbasa for dinner
#113542 +(417)- [X]
@zacke › i got in trouble once, and my mom installed windows me as my punishment
#131975 +(460)- [X]
<DasBub> he also had a book called "Good Sex"
<DasBub> he's an engineer, he needs a manual for everything
#153676 +(556)- [X]
<Mr_Vain> that reminds me of an anti-abortion sticker I saw once: "Being a former fetus, I'm against
<TheXPhial> being a former one celled organism, I'm against menstruation..not much I can do about it
#174498 +(148)- [X]
<cryme> that would own
<cryme> to jack off of the empire state
<cryme> and see who gets killed by your cumshot
#184863 +(443)- [X]
<Pursey> Spam has dropped to new lows
<Murphy> is that with gps coordinates?
#204164 +(235)- [X]
<InuYasha> Rabies isn't an STD is it?
<Ronald_MacK> It is if it's oral sex.
#329373 +(1127)- [X]
<mixi_dk> Im such a perfectist
<mixi_dk> *pefettionist
<mixi_dk> *perfectonst
<mixi_dk> God dammit!
<mixi_dk> perfrecsist
<mixi_dk> OKAY! I give up!
<MikeClassic> Why? perfectionist is easy to spell..?
<mixi_dk> How did you do that?!
#409223 +(2497)- [X]
<Apocalypse> So I was at work and decided to entertain myself, everyone else went out to lunch and I
was by myself
<Apocalypse> Pron was 1st on the list, so I start surfing the internet, following links to various
sites, and after 5 minutes or so I decided to stop
<Apocalypse> By then I had 30 or so screens opened up, all maximised, and while I'm closing them one
by one (admiring the pics one last time) I hear a door open nearby and turn around to look, and I
kept clicking
<Apocalypse> Unfortunately, my mouse must have moved a little, because when I turned back I realised
I was clicking on the "print" button instead, over and over and over :/
<Apocalypse> And to make things worse, things get printed downstairs in a special room, then get
brought up to us to make things more conveniant
<Apocalypse> In brief, in 10 minutes time I have to see the boss and explain why I decided to print
out 10 or so full page pictures of two girls fingering each other on the floor :(
#445431 +(200)- [X]
<FireCat> Hmm, just wondered if using Windows, IIS, Mysql, and PHP would be called a WiMP platform :)
<modn> roflmfao
#467485 +(917)- [X]
<|an> ok so whos got some nice anagrams of their name then?
<|an> ian hamilton
<mark-> him into anal
#574759 +(492)- [X]
<ChernoBog> i will ring for no money, and i know how to speak English, Macedonian, Serbian, Croatian,
Bosnian and Bulgarian... understand some of russian too....
<Dashiva> and you haven't ethnically cleansed yourself yet?
#676846 +(742)- [X]
mintgreenfaerie: rice or ice cream?
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: rice cream.
mintgreenfaerie: hehe, sounds like something from Scooby-doo
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: no
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: that would be
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: rice ream
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: which sounds like the name for some sick asian porno.
#747531 +(1859)- [X]
<muse06> you ever think god gets stoned?
<humphrey> have you ever seen a platypus?
#761868 +(331)- [X]
<@Rakzor> I hate gravity, it's always keepin me down.
#820585 +(3253)- [X]
<ndruo> i'm usig my onscreen keyboard
<ndruo> i's very triksies
<ndruo> he ltters re vry mall
<NeroMan> Translation: The letters are very small.
<ndruo> this will enhance my FPS skills
<SuperJoe> What's the translation for that?
<NeroMan> Translation: This will enhance my sexual ability.
<ndruo> i hte you.
<ndruo> GOD
<NeroMan> Translation: I love you, GENERAL ZOD
<ndruo> iffclt is this
<ndruo> :(
<NeroMan> Translation: This is difficult to the point I am saddened
<SuperJoe> General Zod is pretty cool, I'll admit.
<ndruo> 8=======D translte this
<NeroMan> Translation: "My penis is small enough that I can make a life size depiction of it using
IRC text."
#845468 +(3824)- [X]
<piercings> A programmer started to cuss
<piercings> Because getting to sleep was a fuss
<piercings> As he lay there in bed
<piercings> Looping 'round in his head
<piercings> was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;
#916932 +(3589)- [X]
<ChaosTeacup> playing fucking?
<ChaosTeacup> fucking isnt a game, its a very very serious sport
<Chiri> it can be quite competitive
<ChaosTeacup> although its best if you end in a draw
<Chiri> but the professional leagues aren't very respected as a career path
<ChaosTeacup> its best to play in the minors
<ChaosTeacup> wait
<ChaosTeacup> no
#962826 +(511)- [X]
<ednos> technically, I'm not pedantic

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Clare_Stevenson (1903–1988) was the inaugural director of the Women's_Auxiliary
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