Morning Report

Date: 2019-10-18 07:06:01

Hacker News Headlines
  1.  My Favourite Git Commit (
  2.  Machine learning in UK financial services (
  3.  Bazel 1.0 (
  4.  Most U.S. Dairy Cows Are Descended From Just Two Bulls (
  5.  Microchip Adds RISC-V Cores to PolarFire FPGAs (
  6.  We moved our servers to Iceland (
  7.  The Exquisite Precision of Time Crystals (
  8.  Gridsome – A Vue.js static site generator (
  9.  Uptime 15,364 days – The Computers of Voyager [video] (
 10.  The US nuclear forces’ messaging system finally got rid of its floppy disks (
 11.  Writing Great Mystery Plots (
 12.  Nvim-colorizer.lua: The fastest colorizer for neovim (and no dependencies too) (
 13.  J.S. Bach the Rebel: The subversive practice of a canonical composer (
 14.  California fault capable of producing a magnitude 8 earthquake has begun moving (
 15.  The Beauty of COBOL (2018) (
 16.  The Earliest Unix Code: An Anniversary Source Code Release (
 17.  Cortex: Deploy machine learning models in production (
 18.  What nobody tells you about documentation (
 19.  Fuzzbuzz (YC W19) is hiring a Go back end engineer (
 20.  Knuth – Estimating the Efficiency of Backtrack Programs(1975) [pdf] (
 21.  Mu: A minimal hobbyist computing stack (
 22.  The Brains of the Voyager Spacecraft: Command, Data, and Attitude Control (2017)
 23.  The World's First 20-Hour Airline Flight (
 24.  The Flying Crowbar (1990) (
 25.  Scala: A software tool for microtonic, macrotonic and other alternative tunings (huygens-
 26.  I Survived the “Destroying Angel” (2006) (
 27.  Zappos 2012 data breach settlement (
 28.  BrachioGraph – a cheap, simple pen plotter (
 29.  New universe of miniproteins is upending cell biology and genetics (
 30.  Free Pascal has now a WebAssembly back end (
                                    Search: [q                ]
CBC News Headlines
Featured Content
CBC in Ukraine
How the Trump impeachment probe could threaten Ukraine's anti-corruption efforts
Anti-corruption leaders in Ukraine — including some associated with the ongoing Trump impeachment drama — say they feel a sense of shock and dismay at how the U.S. has turned their backs on them.
World |October 18|
Scheer's arguments about minority governments are missing a few key facts
Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer is incorrect when he says that "whichever party wins the most seats gets to form the government." His party's messaging has cast a core fact about how the
parliamentary system works as a subversion of democracy.
Politics |October 18|
What the temporary ceasefire in northern Syria means for key players in the conflict
The temporary ceasefire announced Thursday by the U.S. and Turkey brings the fighting in northern Syria to a halt for now — but what happens after the 120-hour pause of Turkey's military
operation is an open question. Here's a look at what the deal means for some of the key players in the conflict.
World |October 18|
Watch these NASA astronauts perform the 1st all-female spacewalk
NASA astronauts Christina Koch and Jessica Meir are set to make history on Friday when they step outside the International Space Station for the first all-women spacewalk. Watch along here.
Technology & Science |October 18
The only growing business in the oilpatch: dead wells
Cleaning up old wells is the only growing business right now in the oilpatch in Western Canada. Still, the rise in business is somewhat limited and is just enough to help keep some small oilfield
service companies in business.
Business |October 18|
How the 'Doug Ford strategies' are playing out in the election campaign
Canada -Toronto |October 18|
Point of View
'None of them speak my language': Frustration with politicians echoes across Canada: Peter Mansbridge
Canada |October 18
In swing riding, ex-Liberal Jane Philpott hopes to defy odds and win as Independent
Politics |October 18|
What on Earth?
Sustainable Halloween treats: Better for the planet and just as sweet
Technology & Science |October 17|
Organizers expect thousands for Edmonton's climate strike with Greta Thunberg
Canada -Edmonton |October 18|
Unions top funders of third party election ads, financial records show
Politics |October 18|
More donors, smaller donations: How political fundraising has changed in Canada
Politics |October 18|
Vaping and e-cigarette regulations across Canada
Canada |October 18
'I wish it could actually count': Mock vote primes elementary and high-school students for election
Canada |October 18|
Shelling heard around Syrian town after Turkish-U.S. ceasefire deal
World |October 18|
Canadian breakthrough that became the world's most expensive drug, then vanished, gets second chance
Health |October 17|
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                                     QDB Admin Random >0 Quotes

 Paypal_Donate Home / Latest / Browse / Random >0 / Top_100-200 / Add_Quote / ModApp / Search / #

#54 +(1255)- [X]
<ACDCC> Hey, does anyone know when Dance Dance Revolution comes out on GBC?
#276 +(703)- [X]
<papasui> i bought a box of crab ragoons
<papasui> and i looked to see how many calories are in each one
<papasui> and its freaking 400 and 250 fat calories
<Marcus-> "WARNING: May cause manboobs!"
#700 +(220)- [X]
<Guilty> I often wake up in a cold sweat, in fright that some negro has stolen my moves.
#2898 +(79)- [X]
<XxDeThxX> thats what the sperm whales do..they check out the females then all the males rub
against eachother til they spooge
#4201 +(67)- [X]
<blazemore> i like to wear crotchless chaps
<blazemore> so my lele can feel the breeze in sand storms
#4305 +(998)- [X]
<DTOX> ha, did you know entry-level pharmacists make $90k/yr?
<DTOX> I'm in the wrong line of work...
<Xyrem> DTOX : that's about the most boring job i've seen
<Xyrem> putting pills into a bottle
<DTOX> and in your pocket
<DTOX> and in your mouth
<DTOX> and in people's drinks
#5089 +(846)- [X]
<langdon> i mean
<langdon> fuck on
<langdon> fuck over here and help me
#7525 +(247)- [X]
<sothis> theres nothing quite like the feeling of a 60 year old woman shoving her cold, gloved, ky-
jellied-up fingers up your vagina trying to touch your cervix
#7679 +(376)- [X]
<[BoB]spencer> LOL who has seen the capture the sperm game?
<Sharp|DoD> i play it every day with my sock
<Sharp|DoD> woops
#8356 +(136)- [X]
<Nev|Away> When did I pick on you, you ugly little horrible turd?
<Nev|Away> Give me your lunch money.
#8829 +(1042)- [X]
<TheTheory> I only have two exams left this semester
<TheTheory> Math (easy) and English (WERY easy)
#11179 +(401)- [X]
<drastic> anyone know of a program that would display free hd space for multiple drives on the
desktop or something?
<ninth> drastic: you could write down how much space is free on a piece of paper.. then scan it..
and set it as your wallpaper
#11882 +(219)- [X]
<mage> it will be nice to be back in america
<sparks> I feel the same way
<sparks> having come from alabama
#22517 +(561)- [X]
*** Now talking in #jesus
<God> Ive come before you today, to say Im calling it quits.
<God> Ive created the universe..
<God> It was a mistake
<God> I didnt really like it from the beginning..
<God> This is just to inform you, the 'universe' project will be terminated shortly, it was long
<God> Sorry for any inconvenience caused.
<God> ta.
*** Parts: God
#23996 +(796)- [X]
<drain333> i lose interest after daisy left
<drain333> that was a long time ago
<PunkerGuy> since i've begun weed, i've begun to lose inter.... oo, a cookie
*** SexyCookie has joined #goth
<PunkerGuy> ooo, a cookie
#30264 +(287)- [X]
* Ricyn watches the wind knock someone over outside
<Jedah> don't ya love hurricanes?
* Ricyn checks weatherbug.
<Ricyn> 60mph gusts
<Jedah> this sounds like a fun time to parasail
<Ricyn> yeah, just run into the street and jump
#31326 +(266)- [X]
*** devil`` has joined #geekissues
<devil``> happy new year
<Quorthy> now that's lag
#32591 +(573)- [X]
<ZWeirdVT> how's life?
<BubFISHi> it's ok for a fiber filled oat square covered in cinnamin, but personally, I prefer
Frosted Flakes... why do you ask?
#36275 +(282)- [X]
<chikster> I am 15
<hardlined> 15 is prime age to start experimenting with anal sex.
#36530 +(37)- [X]
<The-Dude> I heard it involves placing a toilet paper tube up there and letting a hampster crawl
in....then pull out the tube, leaving the hampster in there......
<Kanush> that is disgusting.......yet intriguining "
#36721 +(327)- [X]
<skyy> how often does the average 20 year old think of suicide?
<Kueller> every 6.7 hours?
<[H]Scope-Laptop> everytime he gets killed by a camper
#44305 +(494)- [X]
* Joins: Niro77
<Niro77> hi
<Niro77> anyone here?
<Niro77> ...
* Niro77 yawns
<Niro77> hellloooooo
<Niro77> Am I talking to myself?
<Niro77> you know.. the C in IRC means "chat"
<@quake> and the IR means "shut the fuck up, we're idling in this ".
#44882 +(448)- [X]
<StorDuff> meatball, we should start a channel for n00bs like us
<Meatball> htf do u make a channel
#45288 +(304)- [X]
<Spooky42> my dad sounds like hes giving head everytime he eats a popsicle
<Spooky42> its fucking gross
#51519 +(891)- [X]
* Feren considers quitting his job and starting a small ISP in the yukon by strapping wireless
access points to grizzly bears.
<JenWolf> That seems only slightly less dangerous than you current job.
<Feren> I suppose.
* JenWolf can imagine the help desk calls you'd get. "Help, my access point ate my little brother."
#55468 +(172)- [X]
* DRagon87 flips quarter
<DRagon87> heads
<Squirl> is heads the bottom?
#60866 +(585)- [X]
<@dustin> tonight is not my night
<@Patrick> ?
<@dustin> i was putting on some socks..and when i was pulled the sock up, my hand slipped and hit
my nuts..then i fell over cause it hurt so bad and when i fell i hit my head on the counter
<@dustin> :(
<@Patrick> wheres the fire?
<@dustin> ermm?
<@Patrick> why were you pulling your socks up so fast
<@dustin> i wanted to get back on irc
#68623 +(549)- [X]
<D3adlode> I was a mistake you jackass
<Quasar> We all got birth certificates, d3 got an apology letter from durex
#72471 +(118)- [X]
<b1u3> i know the movie was written by a guy who knew nothing about computers, who wanted to make a
movie about computers
<b1u3> but it has its points
<daenonok> should have frat brothers over and watch hackers the movie, and every time they make
shit up, you drink a shot
<daenonok> you'd be passed out in twenty mins
<b1u3> yea but they got that worldwide virus on one floppy disk, and it had a fucking sidekick
virus to distract people
<b1u3> you got people these days like 'yo i just pulled these leet kiddie sploits together into one
bad mutha, the fifth cd is half burned!'
#74087 +(767)- [X]
[aphr0] nothing like relaxing after a hefty civ3 session with some simpsons and some chicken gravy
[WillLab] you have to relax after playing a game?
[WillLab] like the game is the stressful part of your day?
[aphr0] you try battling 5 nations
[WillLab] I hate you
#74091 +(234)- [X]
tophyr: dude it smells like updawg in here
CowboyVik124: hey instant winner playing this fri at somewhere wanna go
CowboyVik124: updawg?
tophyr: DAMMIT.
CowboyVik124: in watching van wiler
tophyr: ASK WHAT IT IS
CowboyVik124: wilder
CowboyVik124: i did
tophyr: NO ASK WHAT IS
CowboyVik124: what is it
tophyr: OMFG.
tophyr: GOD
CowboyVik124: what is updawg
tophyr: YES.
CowboyVik124: what is it
tophyr: omfg
tophyr: say it out loud
CowboyVik124: updawg?
CowboyVik124: i am
tophyr: TEXANS!
#74526 +(787)- [X]
<[ccp]Gib_Omelet|work> i know one mac user. he says if i keep teasing him, he's gonna call the
other 6 and beat me up
#106579 +(272)- [X]
Topic in #os: hey guyz, stop pickin on irix.
<SCO> w00t! i bought unix! im gonna b so rich!
<novell> /msg atnt haha. idiot.
<novell> whoops. was that out loud?
<atnt> rotfl
<ibm> lol
<SCO> why r u laffin at me?
<novell> dude, unix is so 10 years ago. linux is in now.
<SCO> wtf?
<SCO> hey guyz, i bought caldera, I have linux now.
<red_hat> haha, your linux sucks.
<novell> lol
<atnt> lol
<ibm> lol
<SCO> no wayz, i will sell more linux than u!
<ibm> your linux sucks, you should look at SuSE
<SuSE> Ja. Wir bilden gutes Linux für IBM.
<SCO> can we do linux with you?
<SuSE> Ich bin nicht sicher...
<ibm> *cough*
<SuSE> Gut lassen Sie uns vereinigen.
* SuSE is now SuSE[UL]
* SCO is now caldera[UL]
<turbolinux> can we play?
<conectiva> we're bored... we'll go too.
<ibm> sure!
* turbolinux is now turbolinux[UL]
* conectiva is now conectiva[UL]
<ibm> redhat: you should join!
<SuSE[UL]> Ja! Wir sind vereinigtes Linux. Widerstand ist vergeblich.
<red_hat> haha. no.
<red_hat> lamers.
<ibm> what about you debian?
<debian> we'll discuss it and let you know in 5 years.
<caldera[UL]> no one wants my linux!
<turbolinux[UL]> i got owned.
<caldera[UL]> u all tricked me. linux is lame.
* caldera[UL] is now known as SCO
<SCO> i'm going back to unix.
<SGI> yeah! want to do unix with me?
<SCO> haha. no. lamer.
<novell> lol
<ibm> snap!
<SGI> :~(
<SCO> hey, u shut up. im gonna sue u ibm.
<ibm> wtf?
<SCO> yea, you stole all the good stuff from unix.
<red_hat> lol
<SuSE[UL]> heraus laut lachen
<ibm> lol
<SCO> shutup. i'm gonna email all your friends and tell them you suck.
<ibm> go ahead. baby.
<SCO> andandand... i revoke your unix! how do you like that?
<ibm> oh no, you didn't. AIX is forever.
<novell> actually, we still own unix, you can't do that.
<SCO> wtf? we bought it from u.
<novell> whoops. our bad.
<SCO> i own u. haha
<SCO> ibm: give me all your AIX now!
<ibm> whatever. lamer.
* ibm sets mode +b SCO!*@*
* SCO has been kicked from #os (own this.)
#106677 +(679)- [X]
<Stevus> my pass is 6 letters long
<Stevus> random letters i've memorized ;D
<Dragon_Tear> kewl
<LockeJV|goPadres> it's s-t-e-v-u-s
<Stevus> nah
<Stevus> it's iakeuk
<Stevus> er
<Stevus> fuck
#106771 +(8)- [X]
<RocketMan> i came up with a new chocolately cereal that turns your milk brown
<RocketMan> they're called Negr-O's
#109306 +(306)- [X]
<Phylitsa> bath, brb
<Kiz> videotaping innocent teenagers. brb
#124609 +(309)- [X]
<sick-rdi> haha..i had sex in the car the other day
<BlAkEaGe> haha..i had sex on a pooltable yesterday
<sick-rdi> liar
<BlAkEaGe> Truths.
<sick-rdi> there is no girl, there is no pooltable
<BlAkEaGe> Just because you haven't seen a vagina doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
<sick-rdi> ive seen a vagina
<BlAkEaGe> Yeah.. porn.
<sick-rdi> ive actually licked and sucked on one
<BlAkEaGe> Don't lick your screen, it'll fuck it up.
#174943 +(483)- [X]
<elitotaco> hmm
<elitotaco> this is a new one
<elitotaco> "GROW 3 INCHES                  OF CHEST HAIR"
#212630 +(465)- [X]
<Surye> My mom was like "Why don't you put on "Wake Me Up" By Wham for your alarm"? I just looked
at her and said "So you want me to wake up gay?"
#246267 +(1358)- [X]
<Maddawy> see i always wonder when i'm lookin at pr0n and jerking off so to speak
<Maddawy> and if my mom walks in.. would i hide my dick or the pr0n?
<cerebrus> jerking off so to speak? wtf? jerking off is jerking off, you don't need to so to
speak.. RETARD
<Maddawy> whatever...
<greeny> see this hypothetical scenario happened to me...
<Maddawy> lol.. wat did u do?
<greeny> as the matter of fact i did neither..
<greeny> see, it was after the point of no return.. so i just ejaculated, while quietly moaning and
looking at my mom apologeticaly
<greeny> yes.. it's one of the main reasons why i live on campus now...
#255859 +(74)- [X]
<BaD-CooL> for the first time in history, two zombie movies are at the movie theaters at the same
<BaD-CooL> dawn of the dead and passion of the christ
<BaD-CooL> jesus is the original zombie
<BaD-CooL> then he sucked the brains out of all the dumbass christian faggots
#329767 +(809)- [X]
<ED> I like my women like I like my coffee
#352059 +(768)- [X]
<Inversation> hahaha
<Inversation> on the price is right:
<Inversation> "our next prize is: A Super Sucker!" -woman walks out from behind curtain-
<Inversation> -vacuum cleaner emerges a few seconds later-
#441694 +(1898)- [X]
gamemastax: you know how my parents are divorced right?
DrJerad: yeah
gamemastax: Well I just had a talk with my mom.
gamemastax: i told her i didn't want to live with her anymore
gamemastax: she started crying
DrJerad: Why did you tell her that?
gamemastax: because I don't want to?
DrJerad: Why not?
gamemastax: because her computer only has 64 mb of RAM
gamemastax: and that's just not enough to run world of warcraft smoothly
#572316 +(247)- [X]
Aria: So you heard about the software failure on the space shuttle that caused the windshield to
Aria: The programmers explained it that with so many holes, at that altitude, windows sucks bad.
Vruba: Now /that's/ a BSOD.
Bodger: Talk about breathtaking incompetence.
#634090 +(413)- [X]
<sai sce> what's up?
<marc> nm, just plotting to kill my psych teacher
<sai sce> he'd probably be like "THE GUN SHOWS THAT YOU FEAR INTIMACY!!!"
<sai sce> while you were shooting him.
#698074 +(400)- [X]
<HORNYFAQR>: im afraid one of the kindergardeners is hitting on me now
<Hades Dragoon>: ...
<HORNYFAQR>: he's giving me winks and eye raises
<HORNYFAQR>: i'm scared
<Hades Dragoon>: he's gonna take you in the night
<Hades Dragoon>: he's following you as we speak
<HORNYFAQR>: well none of them know where i live
<Hades Dragoon>: that's why he's following you
#737075 +(518)- [X]
n3xg3n> weird... i just found this: Walker Texas Ranger is an anagram for Karate Wrangler Sex
#743532 +(1867)- [X]
<aioli> i hope whoever invented the mysterious force gets his or her penis caught in a gear
<raxvulpine> Your attempt to be gender-neutral there only sort of worked.
#937945 +(870)- [X]
Yarrow: Ok, this is weird. My sim brought a friend home from work. They turned out to be very
compatible, and are now making out...
Prince_Herb: What's weird about that?
Yarrow: They're still wearing their work outfits and are llama mascots for the local sport team.

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Wikipedia Featured Article
***** Today's featured article *****
Sherwood Forest
The Coterel_gang was an armed group in the English North_Midlands that roamed
across the countryside in the late 1320s and early 1330s, a period of political
upheaval and lawlessness. Despite repeated attempts by the crown to suppress
James Coterel and his band, they committed murder, extortion and kidnapping
across the Peak_District. Basing themselves in Sherwood_Forest (pictured),
other wooded areas of north Nottinghamshire and the peaks of Derbyshire, the
Coterels frequently cooperated with other groups, including the Folville_gang.
As members of the gentry, Coterel and his immediate supporters were expected to
assist the crown in the maintenance of law and order, rather than encourage its
collapse, but most of the band received royal_pardons following service abroad
or in Scotland. Groups such as the Coterels may have inspired many of the
stories woven around Robin_Hood in the 15th century. (Full article...)

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