Morning Report
Date: 2022-12-04 07:06:01
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2022-12-04 07:06:01 bash_dot_org - BEGIN
QDB Admin Random >0 Quotes
Paypal_Donate Home / Latest / Browse / Random >0 / Top_100-200 / Add_Quote /
ModApp / Search / # [quote]
#312 +(2154)- [X]
<Tux> gimme a P, gimme an A, gimme a N, gimme an I, gimme a T, gimme an E,
gimme an S! Whats that spell?
<Tux> PANTIES!
<Tux> er
<Tux> not really
<Tux> but it was close!
#612 +(578)- [X]
<Bambz-216> i don't have anything illegal in my house anymore
<Bambz-216> EXCEPT FOR THOSE MEXICANS I BOUGHT!
#851 +(1076)- [X]
<BlackDeTh> this girl was taking e for the first time.. so i knew what i had
to do.. i made it a night she'll remember. (and me too :D
<lux> she'll remember it as rape at the trial and you'll remember it as
consentual
#911 +(461)- [X]
<Kez> FIND A DISEASE AND CRAWL INTO BED WITH IT PLS THX
#1554 +(746)- [X]
<ckx> i get a bunch of scrambled porn
<ckx> one time i was jerking off to this channel
<ckx> 102
<ckx> and like then i realized it was two guys
<ckx> cuz 102 was a gay channel
<ckx> 101 was the good hardcore porn
<HomerJ> HAW
<ckx> but by then i was already into it
<ckx> so i didn't change it
#1701 +(1332)- [X]
<Camo> tress, how do I make a program that makes the cd spin really fast and
does't stop and if you open the cdrom drive, the cd flies out and cuts your
throat?
#2706 +(258)- [X]
(adm) No definitions found for "verio", perhaps you mean:
(adm) SUX
#3833 +(164)- [X]
<Sylffor> The Legend of Zelda for the NES had replay value with the Second
Quest.
<TURBOMEAT> by that logic, every single game with Randomly Generated Dungeons
has infinite replay value
<nitrifik_> I don't even think those have one-play value :o
#4723 +(69)- [X]
<+DCBastard> just a jpg
<@m00cow> what of ?
<+DCBastard> apache ah-64
<@m00cow> i've got an apache
<@m00cow> webserver that is
#7804 +(317)- [X]
<Affe> haha my mom just got an email from adultcheck that was supposed to go
to my stepdad
<Ouroboros> Busted!
<Affe> she's like "adultcheck? i hate all this spam" and she clicks on it to
delete it, and up comes the preview "dear william (my stepdad), on such and
such a date you ordered...."
<Affe> haha
<Affe> she's all like "asshole"
#8126 +(83)- [X]
<Avatar> teenyboppers rule
*** Avatar was kicked by ChanOP ([Sphinx45] britney says hi)
<Tamgerine> Martin, I've seen you car-dance to Britney ... case closed.
<Sphinx45> i can like britney and not be a teenybopper!
#8867 +(58)- [X]
<Rance> i'm right next to a gateway country... i should walk in with my
powerbook :)
#10649 +(53)- [X]
<freshmint> SHE is teen pr0n in the flesh
<freshmint> Too bad she's fucked in the head
#10725 +(282)- [X]
urban13eatnik : I wonder. is there a feeling when you see a woman in porno and
you're sure that she's someone you know?
BeHeMoTh101 : yes
urban13eatnik : what is it?
BeHeMoTh101 : it's called IKNOWDATBITCH
#11216 +(289)- [X]
<Phonoflux> So I was watching TV last night
<Phonoflux> and my mom
<Phonoflux> she lent over and opened her legs
<cuebol> and I climbed out
#11251 +(209)- [X]
<Zombie> will you beat up Red Sky for me?
<Ryco> no =P
<Zombie> He almost cost me my JOB
<kesu-cho> what did RS do
<kesu-cho> that almost cost you your job?
<Zombie> He told my Boss I wanted to have sex with him
#16035 +(273)- [X]
<^Baka^> I wish there was a unix command called train
<^Baka^> then someone would eventually have to type man train
#16527 +(1066)- [X]
<CraNKGod> YOU KNOW WHAT'LL BE NEAT ABOUT LIVING ON MY OWN
<Funk> Being able to run up and down the hallway naked but for a sock on your
erect penis?
<CraNKGod> BEING ABLE TO DRINK STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MILK JUG
<Funk> Oh.
<Funk> Man, you need a better imagination.
#17475 +(149)- [X]
* Techniq throws salt in FG's eyes
* FuNGuY throws ass in techo's dick
#21899 +(226)- [X]
<MrSatan> gordon>you thecms "logo2 that you drew that gets used on everything?
<gordon> eh?!
<ManInBlac> <MrSatan> gordon> you know the CMS "logo" that you drew, that gets
used on everything?
<ManInBlac> got to love the MrSatan -> English translator on AltaVista
#23036 +(155)- [X]
<GreenEyes> gawd i hate it when i'm mid sneeze and it just disappears!
<GreenEyes> it's like almost cumming heheh
<DJUrsus> Does GE have blue sinuses?
#26234 +(454)- [X]
<Camus> my dad has a spiked collar..
<Camus> dog*
#26562 +(363)- [X]
<kisama> hold on we made charts of our class schedules
<kisama> WHERE THEY DON'T OVERLAP THERE'S WACKING TIME
<nyisles> thats why i didnt go away to college
<nyisles> i could never have a roommate
<nyisles> jerking off would be way too awkward
<Guilty> Ny, I imagine everyone does it in the shower
<Guilty> So hygiene benefits from awkwardness
<Guilty> Or just get a girlfriend
<nyisles> that 's so inconvenient when I 've got 8+ gigs of video porn on my
HDD!
<DrNick668> guilty: can u get waterproof pron?
<Guilty> Having sex with a girl wouldnt be nearly as awkward in front of
someone
<nyisles> it would be to me
<Guilty> Its called your imagination, nick
<kisama> hmm
<kisama> on mondays, wednesdays
<kisama> and fridays
<kisama> i can wack it
<kuro> i won 't be anywhere around
<kuro> i 'll be in class
<kuro> so he can do whatever the fuck he wants, as long as my stuff is still
clean when i get home
<Guilty> Snow is so honest
<Guilty> He says right in front of his roomate "On monday and friday I'll be
masturbating while you're at class"
<kuro> i won't come back early
#31560 +(240)- [X]
<twink-E> man i've tried PCP, LSD, DMT, and THC, but nothing beats IRC!
#33746 +(25)- [X]
<@trejkaz> if exists c:\porn then alert("YOU HAVE PORNO!")
#34648 +(1462)- [X]
<hailz_b> pepsi is gayyyyyyy
<hailz_b> gayyyyyyyy
<hailz_b> give me cock anyday
<hailz_b> i mean coke!
#48336 +(226)- [X]
<Mime> If you ejaculate on the moon, do you go flying backwards?
#49258 +(97)- [X]
* Joins: Ramza (spoon@h24-85-88-13.wp.shawcable.net)
<Ramza> jhzsdkjdsf
* Parts: Ramza (spoon@h24-85-88-13.wp.shawcable.net)
<Temujin> Why does he keep doing that...
<DopeHat> He's on crack.
<Temujin> ......
<Temujin> Canadians can't afford crack.
<Temujin> They smoke Clorox.
#50833 +(171)- [X]
<Gonkster> when i worked for stagecoach, lass sat on periscope, no knicks on
<Gonkster> ffs, i nearly knocked down a building lol
<Gonkster> just saw this beaver winkin at me down periscope lol
#52462 +(497)- [X]
<Cloe> be quiet or i'll beat you like a rented mule
<Crowley> you abuse your rented pack animals?
<Cloe> yes, i do
<Cloe> now carry my stuff up the trail
<Crowley> suck my huge donkey dick
#60523 +(1145)- [X]
<fcastle> I HAD A NIGHTMARE
<fcastle> IT ALL STARTED NORMAL
<fcastle> 10101010
<fcastle> 10110011
<fcastle> THEN ALL OF A SUDAN
<fcastle> 1100102
<snooz> GAAAAH
#75645 +(180)- [X]
<cricket> I'm sure horse semen is just as tasty as regular semen
#81866 +(81)- [X]
<b1u3> know whatd rule
<b1u3> if somehow, we got bush and his two daughters and suddam and his two
sons in a ring, with glass shard laced gloves, like in that movie kickboxxer
<b1u3> or give the bush daughters two beer bottles apiece and send them to
melee the fuck out of the iraqui ground soldiers...a bush girl with a beer
bottle against a skinny iraqui whos only there so his family doesnt get gassed
is like bruce lee against david spade
#187846 +(204)- [X]
<aml_> i mean, if you decapitate someone with a sword, it's not fucking
ceremonial
<dabblerblue> unless you're the highlander!!
#200868 +(289)- [X]
<EvilGenius> HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!
<nykoelle> HAPPY NEW YEAR
<solace> 2004!!
<nykoelle> YAYA
<nykoelle> !!!
<nykoelle> </2003>
<solace> HAPPY NEW YEARRRR
<EvilGenius> rofl meg
#216963 +(1443)- [X]
<billiam> crap... some one knocked over my recycle bin... there's icons all
over my desktop...
#262353 +(14064)- [X]
<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard
#265090 +(402)- [X]
<Ck3> know whats pedophile's favorite chord?
<Ck3> A minor
#307172 +(552)- [X]
<Jaidev> If you want to know what I think about bottled water, what does
'Evian' spell backwards?
#331410 +(253)- [X]
<Z-U> how do u say that u r leaving
<Z-U> ?
<Xelloss> bye typing "i'm leaving" without the quotation marks
<Z-U> oh
#347268 +(2043)- [X]
<cow_hax0r> HOLY HOLY FUCKING SHIT AFK A SEC
<leecher> er...
<cow_hax0r> Sorry back
<leecher> what's the problem, house on fire?
<cow_hax0r> No I had to get a drink
<leecher> so why the urgency?
<cow_hax0r> Well... I REALLY had to get a drink
<leecher> so your house wasn't on fire or being attacked by ninja's?
<cow_hax0r> Well.. no, but my throat was kinda dry
#446931 +(2682)- [X]
<tHiSiSbOb> I just lost a friend... He got into a car accident... Young people
can die too. I just played starcraft with him the other day....
<black_mage_s> Well, there is always the single player campaign.
#495887 +(1460)- [X]
<srty> Light travels faster than sound.
<arilsotil> WRONG
<boya> This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
#675105 +(1011)- [X]
<kan> the nigerian government has orderd 1,000,000 of those "100 dollar
laptops" for its people.
<kan> just what we need more nigerians sending email.
#676781 +(524)- [X]
A[S]Vicious: Dude.. I fell asleep last night when I was talking to my
girlfriend on the phone.. She was masturbating to my voice, and started
talking about how her big vibrator was stuck, and she couldn't get it out.
A[S]Vicious: And I fell asleep..
A[S]Vicious: It was awesome
#762742 +(1095)- [X]
<godlys0ldier> How can i know what a $rand number is gonna be
<Spitfire3292> ...Thats gotta be the fuckin stupidest thing i've heard all day
#781115 +(527)- [X]
Ang3lClds82776: no, seriously, what is the difference btwn a graphics
processor and a graphics accelerator??
Philmj88: Well, to give you an idea....a graphics processor is like an
artist....
Philmj88: a graphics accelerator is like an autistic kid with a paintbrush...
#796595 +(1288)- [X]
<ZellKFF> We were talking about religion today
<ZellKFF> and my 6 years old kid asked me "religion? is that a legendary
pokemon?"
#917681 +(757)- [X]
<incluye> OH! Shit it's your birthday, isn't it.
<thom> Yeh
<incluye> I have something for you.
<thom> Really?!
<incluye> Yeah.
<incluye> localhostr.com/files/a19ydd/q.gif
<thom> WTF
<thom> It's just an animation of some dude getting a rag tied around his face
<incluye> I know.
<incluye> It's a gag gif.
* You have been kicked from the channel by thom (never speak to me again)
#945194 +(398)- [X]
<T> I couldn't decided what I wanted so I just got one box of each type of
fruit snacks, some gummy bears, and 5 pints of americone dream ice cream
<T> When I went up to the checkout, the lady looked at me like I was crazy
after she finished ringing me up
<T> I'm not sure if it's cause I spent $100 on fruit snacks, or if it was
cause I had a sword
<T> Anyway, so I tie the bag handles around the hilt of the sword, cause
there's too many bags to carry, and I set off down the road
<T> nobody tries to stop me
<T> I get about 3 of the 6-7 blocks towards home down when a police cruiser
pulls up beside me and tells me to put everything down and put my hands on my
head
<T> Luckily, as I've said before, the cops in the UC/Converse area are cool as
shit
<T> It's only SAPD that sucks
<T> So the first thing the cop says is "Is that a weapon son?", to which I
reply "It's a sword, officer"
<T> So, I reply "No officer, I just wanted some fruit snacks."
<T> Now he's really giving me a look, and puts his spotlight right in my eyes
<T> He says "Are you high son?"
<T> "No officer, just a little drunk."
<T> He's like "Alright, well since you've been honest with me, let's get you
home. Let me see your ID."
<T> So I give him my driver's license, he tells me to hop in the back, and he
takes me to my house and drops me off
<T> I ate an entire box of fruit snacks in the back seat of a police cruiser
<T> He even let me keep my sword
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ST-LAMBERT ACTUALITES
* Passer_directement_au_contenu_principal
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04_déc._2022____
COUPURE D'EAU ET AVIS D'ÉBULLITION | Il y a présentement une coupure d’eau pour
le 110 à 120, des Flandres, et le 113 à 123, des Flandres. Après la coupure
d’eau, un avis d’ébullition préventif sera en vigueur.
04_déc._2022____
AVIS D'ÉBULLITION | Un avis d’ébullition d’eau préventif est actuellement en
vigueur pour les résidents de l’avenue Victoria entre les rues Horsfall et St-
Laurent. Ils doivent faire bouillir l’eau 1 minute avant toute consommation.
* Actualités
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* __
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[Logo_de_la_Ville_de_Saint-Lambert]
* Ma ville
o Administration
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* Toutes_les_actualités
* Loisirs__3___Nombre_de_publication_classées_dans_Loisirs_
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***** HORAIRE_DES_FÊTES_:_Fermeture_de_certains_services_et_activités_spéciales
*****
Publié le 02 déc. 2022
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***** Le_réseau_cyclable_déneigé_s’agrandit_cette_année! *****
Publié le 23 nov. 2022
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***** La_Ville_de_Saint-Lambert_invite_ses_citoyens_à_la_solidarité_pour_le
temps_des_fêtes *****
Publié le 22 nov. 2022
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***** MESSAGE_DE_LA_MAIRESSE_AUX_CITOYENS_DE_SAINT-LAMBERT_:_rectification
concernant_les_règlements_d'urbanisme *****
Publié le 18 nov. 2022
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***** La_mairesse_et_le_conseil_municipal_dressent_leur_bilan_après_une
première_année_de_mandat *****
Publié le 11 nov. 2022
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***** Saint-Lambert_rend_hommage_à_ses_bénévoles *****
Publié le 24 oct. 2022
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***** Retour_sur_la_soirée_d’information_sur_le_fonctionnement_des_réseaux
d’égouts *****
Publié le 07 oct. 2022
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***** Consultation_:_Participez_à_la_démarche_Pour_ma_MOBILITÉ,_je_m’ACTIVE
*****
Publié le 05 oct. 2022
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***** En_octobre,_la_culture_sera_à_l’honneur_à_Saint-Lambert_avec_la_4e
édition_de_la_Rentrée_culturelle! *****
Publié le 05 oct. 2022
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***** Une_toute_première_exposition_de_photographies_extérieures_pour_Saint-
Lambert *****
Publié le 04 oct. 2022
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***** Bilan_des_activités_de_l’ÉCO_Brigade_de_Saint-Lambert_:_Un_été_bien
chargé_pour_les_étudiants! *****
Publié le 28 sept. 2022
Lire_plus
***** Plantation_communautaire_|_Bénévoles_recherchés *****
Publié le 26 sept. 2022
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***** Découvrez_l’art_sous_toutes_ses_formes_à_Saint-Lambert_lors_des_Journées
de_la_culture! *****
Publié le 15 sept. 2022
Lire_plus
***** Pluie_abondante_:_État_de_situation_à_Saint-Lambert *****
Publié le 14 sept. 2022
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***** Pluie_abondante_:_les_équipes_des_travaux_publics_à_pied_d’œuvre_sur_le
terrain *****
Publié le 13 sept. 2022
Lire_plus
***** Une_seconde_vie_pour_les_arbres_urbains *****
Publié le 12 sept. 2022
Lire_plus
***** On_veut_votre_avis_sur_les_Fêtes_de_Saint-Lambert! *****
Publié le 09 sept. 2022
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***** Pour_un_automne_actif_:_réouverture_de_l’aréna_et_de_la_piscine
intérieure *****
Publié le 02 sept. 2022
Lire_plus
***** Bilan_de_l’herbe_à_poux_2022_:_Une_bonne_surveillance_pour_éviter_les
allergies *****
Publié le 26 août 2022
Lire_plus
***** Chaise_d’enfant_symbolique_à_la_séance_du_conseil *****
Publié le 25 août 2022
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***** Refonte_des_outils_d’urbanisme_:_La_tenue_du_registre_est_reportée_en
raison_d'un_recours_de_citoyens_auprès_de_la_Commission_municipale_du_Québec
*****
Publié le 18 août 2022
Lire_plus
***** Ouverture_du_nouveau_point_de_service_en_urbanisme_:_tous_les_services_de
la_Ville_sont_maintenant_relocalisés *****
Publié le 12 août 2022
Lire_plus
***** PLAN_D'URBANISME_:_La_Ville_de_Saint-Lambert_désire_rectifier_les_faits
suite_à_une_erreur_concernant_le_terrain_du_golf_de_Saint-Lambert *****
Publié le 26 juill. 2022
Lire_plus
***** MESSAGE_DE_LA_MAIRIE_AUX_CITOYENS_DE_SAINT-LAMBERT_:_Des_places_en
garderie_à_Saint-Lambert,_une_priorité! *****
Publié le 21 juill. 2022
Lire_plus
***** La_Ville_de_Saint-Lambert_et_ses_cols_bleus_procèdent_à_la_signature
d’une_nouvelle_convention_collective *****
Publié le 14 juill. 2022
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ST-LAMBERT CALENDRIER
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Wikipedia Featured Article
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***** From today's featured article *****
[Lee_Smith]
Lee_Smith (born December 4, 1957) is an American former pitcher in professional
baseball who played 18 years in Major_League_Baseball (MLB) for eight teams. A
native of Jamestown,_Louisiana, Smith was selected by the Chicago_Cubs in the
1975_MLB_draft. In 1991, he set a National_League (NL) record with 47 saves for
the St._Louis_Cardinals, and was runner-up for the league's Cy_Young_Award; it
was the second of three times Smith led_the_NL_in_saves, and he later led the
American_League in saves once. At his retirement, he held the major league
record for career_games_finished (802) and was third in games_pitched (1,022).
He still holds the record for career saves for the Cubs (180) and held the same
record for the Cardinals (160) until 2006. After his playing career, Smith
worked as a pitching instructor in Minor_League_Baseball for the San_Francisco
Giants. He served as the pitching coach for the South_Africa_national_baseball
team in the World_Baseball_Classics of 2006 and 2009. (Full article...)
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